Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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