You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
