Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
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