wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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