Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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