if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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