i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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