i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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