you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize