perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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