This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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