He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Randomize