Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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