when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
