My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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