Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
