I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
