Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
it was like eating out sand paper
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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