The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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