yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
