I wish I could punch you in the face.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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