i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Life is so much better after having sex.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
