porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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