My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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