a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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