And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
