did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
