Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
