It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
