my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
