She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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