I am puke
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize