We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
