You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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