My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
