We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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