She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
