I cockslap morals
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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