my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
