you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize