I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I have grass duct taped all over my body
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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