Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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