I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
