Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
God I need to hump something, right now.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
