why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
