Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
