The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
