Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Naked Twister starts at high noon
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
