yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
