just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
