well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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