Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
