I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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