Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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