i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
