i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
