girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
