Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize