A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
She is in my trunk
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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