WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
